Break the Great Singapore MRT Scowl
Inspired by mitokondrion, I decided to recall the little experiment yours sincerely tried while he was part-timing and part of the morning rush-hour MRT crowd.
Every morning is the same old routine of trying to get oneself squeezed into the sardine tin can. And if one manages to get in, one now has to be worried about where to place one’s gaze.
Place your gaze on a person and you are greeted back with the Great Singapore Scowl.
“Why are you staring at me?”
If you’re a guy and your gaze lands on a lady, you are automatically classified as either:
1) Trying to pick up the lady
2) A lecherous guy savoring on a eye candy
3) Just plain rude
4) All of the above
It’s worst if your gaze lands on a man, you will be labeled as:
1) Trying to pick up a fight
2) Just plain rude
3) All of the above
So, all the while, every passenger in the cabin directs their gaze to a spot where no one is, the total area which is, pathetically small.
In any case, if just a gaze itself is interpreted as such, it is unthinkable if you try to strike a conversation.
Stubornly, I tried.
I started with aunties, obviously, because aunties won’t think that you’re picking them up. Usually, it’s Hokkien with the starter line being, “Wow. You buy so much stuff. Cooking a big meal ah?”
And they will ratter on about their sons, daughters, what they are cooking…. blah…
It’s interesting though. It feels good.
Sometimes…. just sometimes, I’ll be lucky enough to have some lady reading a novel I’ve read (or I’ve some knowledge about) and I’ll go, “How do you find the book?”
But, actually, the hardest part is to make eye contact first without being labeled as a buaya (Malay for “crocodile” - or somebody trying a pickup. See definition). Once that’s established, it’s easier.
As a principle, I never probe for personal details and never asked for their number. Usually the conversation revolves around neutral topics and their favourite authors. That’s how you gain trust. Though, sometimes I feel like I’m an idiot for not doing so.
I never had success with guys though, only those old enough to be my grandpa, which is strange. Once, I tried to talk to a male, middle-aged Caucasian, thinking that he should be more conversant than Asians and, boy, was I wrong. I was simply ignored.
Most of the time, if you’ve established a certain presence in the train, picked up enough clues about your target and established eye contact, you should be able to chat someone up. I believe if you approach with a no-strings attached attitude and with absolute sincerity, it should work.
Go ahead, try. Even if you don’t succeed, it’s great training. Otherwise, you have just made your train ride so much more meaningful for yourself and one other person.
It’s one small step for you, one great move to eradicating the Great Singapore Scowl.
October 24th, 2005 at 12:52 am
haha.. okay. take a train with me next time. would love to chat.
October 24th, 2005 at 10:22 am
haha, that’s wonderful! now if i ever get a guy that starts friendly chat or smiles on the mrt, i’m going to think it’s u… there can’t be too many around! :)
October 26th, 2005 at 10:15 pm
U TALK TO PEOPLE ON THE TRAIN? wow!!! this is singapore, not some western country where the people have tendencies to strike up small talks with stranger…
what’s ur motive–cultural revolution????
October 27th, 2005 at 6:19 pm
Yah..gazing is difficult when there is more crowd…If I look down, i might looking at somebodies b**t or b**b even though you stare straight thru the window/door. No choice i take newspaper everyday to read in the MRT or close my eyes and listen to MP3s
October 27th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
Daz: Lol on that!
Usually I just don’t give a damn about where I stare. I just look around. Sometimes at the ads, though sometimes I wish that they do change the ads abit more often.
Sometimes, you do get smiles back though. That usually will brighten up my day.
Otherwise, it’s just your usual, vanilla-flavour train ride.
October 28th, 2005 at 12:36 am
Please don’t sit next to me. I don’t want some crazy guy bothering me on the train.
December 4th, 2005 at 1:41 pm
nice try
i did it once on a bus but only uncles and aunties will reply…
August 2nd, 2006 at 9:17 pm
well, it’s worth a try…make this world and town just a bit smaller and nicer. well-done kelvin…hope to see you on the mrt sometime